Why Adopt? Part 2: A Matter of Timing

I wrote in this post the fundamental teachings and original feelings I had which led me to want to adopt.  I'd like to share with those interested a deeper look at my heart on this journey.

Why now?  Why, at 27, after having two biological kids with my wife, am I adopting?

A year ago I couldn't have told you what my purpose was.  I wanted to know it.  I yearned for it.  And a year ago I was ashamed of that fact.  But now that I know what I must do for His Kingdom while on this earth, I don't feel shame for not knowing his call on my life back then.  Why?  It has become increasingly apparent to me that you don't find your passion.

It finds you.

While groping about seeking gratification, the praises of man, the pinnacle of Maslow's hierarchy, or simply to serve God well, we spend much time just 'doing' stuff.  Even with good intentions, until our passion finds us we sprint in random directions, certain that being busy (regardless of the cause) is better than nothing.  Perhaps it is.  But it doesn't compare with the long haul run of faith you begin when your purpose is revealed.

At my current job we do a lot with lasers.  I buy a lot of custom optic elements for the company.  Crystals are grown, harvested, machined, polished, and coated with meticulous detail.  You can't rush this process.  Doing so means a broken lens, a scratched prism, a cloudy coating.  The optical elements exist to affect the light passing through the lenses in a very specific way (bend it, straighten it, reflect it, intensify it).  The elements DEFINE the beam.  For all its glory, a laser is useless (and sometimes even randomly destructive) without passing through the appropriate optical elements.

So it is with our purpose and passion.  We dare not rush (but should rightly yearn for) the revelation of our defining goal.  For it is worth it to to finally have the white hot beam of our everything focused into a coherent life for His glory and for the good of those in our lives.

I am convinced that the Lord formed Lindsey and I for this purpose; to love the oppressed and defend the defenseless.  This begins with us snatching up a helpless babe with the odds against him/her and making him/her a permanent part of our lives.  I'm excited to see where else it goes!

And here's the irony of it all.  A year ago, we were in such a better financial position to adopt.  Pragmatically, it would have been 'smarter' to do so then, right?

I'm well aware that a solid portion of family, friends, and strangers are suspect of our intentions since we are a fundraising family (i.e., we don't have $30K in cash to drop at once to bring this baby home).  I understand these concerns.  In their shoes, even six months ago, I'd pass the same judgment.  That's largely why I don't get upset when they lob their comments.  They are me, mere months before, and their passion is not mine.

Yes, I have a mortgage which sucks up money I could use to fund adopting.  Yes, I made more at my last job.  Yes, it would be much easier on those around me if I saved for several years and didn't ask for donations.  But back when we had the money to drop on something like this, we weren't called to.  And I refuse to let godless details postpone the start of my life's work (more than one adoption, I'm convinced.  More in another post.)

Moses would have made more sense confronting Pharoah after some speech classes.  David would have been a smarter choice for king after he grew up some more, had a few campaigns under his belt, and Saul nicely succumbed to fading health.  Peter might have been a more wise choice in the people's eyes had he gone to seminary for four years before he started following Jesus.  Paul could have saved a whole lot of backpedaling if God had simply called him before he went down the Pharisee path.  But here's the rub.  Our Lord confounds us.

And praise Him for it!  How much more I lean on him, and how much more is He evident in this adoption now that the 'rational stuff' has been stripped away by His impeccable (and gloriously problematic) timing.